How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
