I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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