I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
