you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
