i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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