I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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