We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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