let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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