dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
