I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
