ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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