She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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