oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
