Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
