If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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