Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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