Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
