Sponge bath it is.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The chlamydia really affected his face.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
