i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
this will be a night to untag.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
i think im in europe. pls send help
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
