you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i will never coherently bang her
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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