Swine flu. Run for my life!
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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