also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
