my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
