I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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