Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
