Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize