I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just found puke in my bra..
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
