So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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