ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
