summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
