Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
