that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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