I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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