Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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