If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize