are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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