hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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