Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
