Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
How's work?
Spinning.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
