I'm gonna have a badass scar
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
