God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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