I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
