Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We left the knife in your bed.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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