I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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