I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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