Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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