You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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