You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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