I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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