And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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