Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
