The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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