I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Porn is love you can see.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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