Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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