grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
