he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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