My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My dick has a subreddit
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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