Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
