When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize