That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
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