Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
