I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
