she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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