come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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